Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
