She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
