Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
