I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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