So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We have started to decorate penises.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
