hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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