wakey wakey hands off snakey
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
