she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
