All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize