so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
