Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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