You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
