I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
