we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
