Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
