there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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