At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
