dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
