Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize
