She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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