Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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