My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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