my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
