There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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