i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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