I wannas sexs uuuuu
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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