If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How does it feel to date your dad?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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