You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
