walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
