I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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