? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
