Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
