shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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