I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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