i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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