dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
