She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
