I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
