Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
