I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
