yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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