So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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