omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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