apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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