At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
