I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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