Umm I'm too high to move.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
