Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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