Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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