I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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