You smell like a Billy Joel song
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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