hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
