So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
