What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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