So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
