____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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