Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize