Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
