Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i've created a new STD.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
