Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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