in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
