I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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