Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
