That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
