I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
