I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
