He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??