I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
