my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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