I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
