I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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