he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize